This week I had a conversation with two students that left me speechless.
Student A: "I love being in time out." Me: "Why?" Student A: "Because you don't have to do anything." Student B: "She likes time out because no one can mess with her." This extremely intelligent young student knows that if she acts up, she will be put in timeout, and no one can bully her there. It was a life changing moment for me. It made me stop and consider the many reasons a child may act up in class. I was blessed to follow up this enlightening moment with the Hope Stone Teacher Training this weekend. Dr. Ana Trevino-Godfrey spoke to us about discipline and behavior redirection. She said that the first thing we should consider when a child acts up is "What does this child need right now?" Maybe a child needs to be heard, to feel validated, to feel like they fit in, release some extra energy, to be loved, to feel safe, or maybe they are just plain tired and hungry. Sometimes all it takes is to acknowledge how the student is feeling. But there is always a reason why, and to give them a choice in the way out of it, empowers the student. That student needed a way out, and the only way she knew to communicate that was by misbehaving. I have personally never had an issues with this student in dance class, but now I know that she needs some extra love and peace in her life, and I am going to pay close attention to her interactions with the other students.
3 Comments
3/24/2013 03:32:29 am
So I wonder now how to teach this student to deal with the situation. It seems "time out" would be the equivalent of running away or not learning how to deal with a difficult situation. I wonder if this is not a good coping tool for her to rely on and grow in - if it will set her up for failure. I don't know.
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Rebekah Chappell
3/26/2013 08:36:38 am
Diane, I have mixed feelings about this too. I think that it can be a good choice to remove yourself from situations that are unhealthy, but of course acting up isn't the way for that to happen. At the same time, you often can't remove yourself from situations like this and still participate at work, school, ect Do you have any suggestions for language I could use with her the next chance I get? I was thinking something the along the lines of: "It hurts my feelings when people say or do things that are mean to me. Sometimes people don't know that they are hurting my feelings, so I try and let them know."
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Diane Bedford
4/5/2013 12:41:44 pm
I think that language sounds good. Or shorten it since she's little by telling her to simply say to her bullies, "I want you to know that my feelings are hurt by what you said/did."
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AuthorThis is a way for me to share and process the light bulb aha! moments in my life. Archives
August 2014
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