Rehearsing Rising Tide

​July 18, 2017, 5:08 pm
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I allowed that version to be the most different, I said yes, I did not hold onto the material as tightly, I allowed the material to morph, change,
More happened differently – and I am not sure what / how to make sense of it
Spinning at the end, the urge to turn and turn just like I did as a kid, why was I spinning? Was I spinning in order to match, to meet the disorientation? Was I spinning for the pleasure, for the joy of not knowing where I am, for the letting go, the freedom that comes from allowing yourself to disorient? Where did that impulse come from?
There are moments where I wonder what this solo looks like….but I have to believe that the material works because of how it feels…or perhaps because of how it feels, I know that it is working for me.

.....censored.....
 
How do you develop your capacity to respond to work?
How is responding different then critiquing?
How is responding different then giving feedback?
These are good questions for performance workshop….
 
I am worried about being found out, about being caught with less knowledge then expected, desired, that eventually my inexperience will show.
 
I miss my AT work- touch that finds out, touch that listens, touch that stays as connected with self as it is sensing, how does this apply to my feet when dancing??
 
I had too much time – how does one pace a dance- I found myself making choices that felt bold, new, and different, but I questioned their compositional merit
How do I balance these agendas? When is the composition agenda appropriate? When should I prioritize the experience of dancing? Is the compositional part of me afraid that the dance won’t “look” a certain way – is it caught up in the way that the body appears?
What are the politics of appearance?
Can a dance exist without a concern in how it appears?
Can a dance be made entirely based on the experience of its performance?
In other words, how much do I allow form to dictate – and what does form serve? Who does form serve? How do one decide on the form of the dance? How do you measure engagement when you are inside of the dance??
 
Is it an inner censor with me? Is it a witness? How am I calling these shots when I am improvising? Performing? What do I prioritize?
 
Can a thoughtful dance be successful without a concern for what it looks like?
What makes a dancing body successful? What makes a dance “work”?
Would I watch anything if the logic of embodiment held???
Is my standard a beauty? A shape?
How do I define grotesque?
 
Who is in the space with me when I am performing?
Who is my inner voice?  How is my inner voice making decisions? How was this voice formed? 
 
How do I get comfortable neglecting / abandoning the material? Where is the discomfort in straying? How do I respond when I am in unfamiliar territory? Is there where habit shows up?