Rising Tide Rehearsal

​July 8, 2017, 3:17 pm
 
Free Writing.....

I just ran the solo for the BMC conference; this score feels like it is working for me. I like having a set vocabulary to play with, but I like the freedom of making decisions in the moment, as I go. I like seeing how the movement will unfold, what will creep in, what will disappear? I am trying to experiment with repetition as it is necessary to this moment, not repetition that feels familiar and comforting, but a repetition that is unfolding in the now based on my sensations and emotional landscape.

The same goes with an ending, can each dance have a new ending but can each ending seem just as revelant, necessary, and composed? Does it need a clear period, or is the point of this dance that there is no period, there is no ending, that it goes on, but it is rising? It is coming to a point; it is narrowing, the time that is left is closing in on me.

How does I use the vision; what do I see when I am not looking at the gesture? Where is my focus called to?

How can this process become a model for me, a way of improvising, a way of composing and making?

I like having the clear sound score.

I need to make changes to this ending. I like the way Marissa is thinking. who do I bring in on my process moving forward? Who watches my dances? Who coaches me on performance?

I love performing; I miss performing. I wonder sometimes if I am meant to be in an institution now? How do I balance all these parts of myself?

How come I can not reflect on the performance? How can I can not comment on it? I still feel inside of it, not enough has passed…

.....censored.....