Writing and Dancing....again and again.

How difficult it was to name what I did not see while walking backwards.
Walking through space and reading your writing aloud to yourself
No judgement. That has been a difficult space to get myself into.
I am doing my best to balance the physical with the theoretical, giving myself the time and space to listen to myself as a whole and the only way I know how to do do that is in dance, in moving, in motion. When I am still, I loose a sense of my physicallity. I feel disconnected to so much of myself and perhaps that is the task- perhaps the task is to dive deeply into this way of being no matter what I am doing- to be able to stay and return to breath, return to support.
I question giveness - that is such an important term- questioning is this the way it has to be?
how to bring these things to surface
there are things that I know, I know them with my whole self, I know them intuitively but how can I express them? How can I express this way of knowing? How can it crystalize and become more clear or become clear in another way?
I am trying to get back into my habit of writing and dancing.
Taking time to take care of myself, to cultivate msyelf, to use studio time as a personal housekeeping.
I think that is where I have made some mistakes in making, not all movement belongs on the stage. How can I be OK throwing stuff out, getting rid of material., not being so precious, not being se decisive but seeing what emerges?

I remember rolling and pouring, experimenting with ways of rolling with my arms and legs. Where do they go? How do I flip from one side to another? What do my limbs do? How can they make different points of contact? something about spiral is satisfying but also disorienting. Getting dizzy- why do children love that action so much. What is so necessary about a roll? Why do I want to roll continuously in one direction?  What is my resistance about coming back the way I came. Visually, in the body, reversing the direction feels like a wrong choice. What is is about the speed of that activity? Moment. Surface contact. Feeling of weight, touch. Floor. What developmentally does rolling do?


My rolling.
Pouring.
Point of contact.
Skin.
Skin.
Skin.

contained. fluid. skin. (episodes)
transition
boundary
lunge fall
realm of possibility
to find out