I have not posted any of my writing recently. While my practice has been inconsistent, I have been continuing this process of moving and writing, writing and moving. Here are some slightly edited free-writes:
I just finished dancing in the studio and now I am beginning my 16 minute writing practice. How will this experience be differnet after moving? As I was moving today, I was finding myself having a hard time with the mirror. This idea of survelliance is continuing to pop up for me. When do I survey myself? When do I change my behaviors because I feel as though I am beign watched? The mirror makes me consider what my movements look like to audience, how my movements are being read. As I was improvising today I was thinking about making. I was thinking about editing a current solo and I think the idea of a distilled image was really speaking me to me. I remember dances based on images, images that stick with me, images that are provoking or engaging in some way, and I am drawn to repetition as an audience member, I like watching something again and again and again, I like to see how each repetition brings something new to life and how the repetition is connected to embodiment, that somehow the grove gets deeper, the movement more clear. Its funny that I love repetition within a work but I hate repetition of a work. Or perhaps its just that I don’t like repeating a work that I don’t enjoy, that doesn’t do something for me as a performer and then it’s the question of how many times do I need to perform a work before it ceases to do that thing for me. It is about the space and time between each repetition? .
I am proud of my writing challenge. 16 minutes for now is about all I can muster. I find myself getting antsy toward the end but I will work on sustaining, developing my concentration, the ability to drop into myself. In my moving today I was thinking ahead to my dance this fall. I think I want to assign a text? I want to make the reading more rigorous, I want to come up with more content to use as research beforehand? I have learned a lot from this semester of making. I am learning to gernerate material, lots of materials, and then figure out its thingness, then figure out the structure, the form, the images, the content. I want to create a schedule for myself where we make for a certain amount of weeks, structure, and then work, work, work on embodiment and performance. That pattern seemed to work well this semester. I want to continue to think about landscapes. To think about time, to think about what space my work is occupying. And repetition – why always repetition? I feel as though I am beginning to figure out how I work best with others, but I am curious to see what that challenge will be If I work with less experienced movers, with less committed movers. I am beginning to see and feel my strengths, and I want to keep following my curiousity, keep reading.
No edit. Why is that so hard for me? Why do I have such a strong desire to edit as I go? Why is it so difficult to just generate?
A minute and half to go and I just cant sustain it. And I feel frustrated with myself, I know that this work is so important, I know that if if I am going to be in relation to others that I have to do the work myself. And I am working on prioritizing the work. I know that this will be a journey.
This is a blog of processes. Through the sharing of media and writing I am following my impulses, teasing out and unpacking, translating, solidifying, and making concrete my investigations into something that can be shared.